The Luna’s Second Chance Mate

Larissa’s POV

The bed felt the most uncomfortable since I had come here. I used to be grateful for having a roof over my head and such a bed to sleep in after so long, now I wasn’t so sure anymore.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

His eyes had grown even colder towards me ever since that day at the balcony, why the hell did I even cry? Saying I wasn’t confused was some serious understatement. He kept saying one thing, yet his body did another.

What even was I doing with him? Why did I keep letting myself find excuses for his actions? He kissed me and was acting like nothing at all had happened. If anything, I was certain he was disgusted by it.

He’d told me how filthy I was so many times; how would he even see me in any other light? I pushed the pillows away to where the head board would have been if I had one, ultimately deciding to sprawl my hair across the bed to substitute for the uncomfortable pillow while staring at the blank ceilings.

But he wanted to say something this morning. Although his eyes were icy as hell, his body language was going to say something. It was just upsetting that he was too dense to realize that I was crying because I didn’t know what to feel anymore. It made me feel even stupider. But I couldn’t help but be curious as to what he had heard over the phone for his face to fall faster than lightning.

But then, the questioned remained how exactly he felt towards me. Was he attracted to me? Did he see me as his mate but too egotistical to admit it? Or was he simply toying with my feelings?

I tossed to the side, curling up in a fetal position with my face towards the windows. It was one cloudy afternoon, even the weather was refusing to cooperate with me. It looked as depressed, maybe even more depressed than I was.

There was a soft knock on my door before its knob was twisted open, catching my attention. I forced myself to turn around.

Nobody ever came to my room, so who could it be? I could feel my muscles tense up, what if it was him? What if he was here to punish me for crying or something else?

I hissed a sigh of relief when it was only Gwen at the door. She had a soft smile on her face, causing me to cock a brow until I saw the small figure running into my room at full speed.

“Declan, no running!” I yelped in surprise, shooting off the bed immediately to hold the boy in place. He was running towards the closet, and I knew better than to let him rummage through my closet of old clothes.

It could well turn into a severely disorganized version of the thrift store. I tripped over the only other furniture in the room, cursing under my breath when I stubbed my little toe against it and there was a giggle from Gwen. The nerve of them both.

I finally reached out to pull the toddler, gently tossing him on the bed and patting at my chest. “I know you’re a sensitive kid, but I wouldn’t hesitate to smack your butt the next time you’re a naughty boy. Understood?”

Gwen scoffed at that, tittering as soon as she reached the foot of my bed. She plopped onto it with the side of the bed dipping in her weight and the already tousled bed covers crumpling even further. “As if, Larissa. We both know you have a soft spot for the kid. You love him too much to touch a hair of his head.”

“That’s because his father might as well have my head.” I let out with a laugh, pulling Declan close and recoiling towards the wall while sitting cross-legged. There was an expected snort from Gwen and a well foreseen eye roll at that.

“Trust me, I’ve seen worse with the previous nannies. One even had her fingers broken from torture when she was caught badmouthing Declan’s preference for vanilla scents. The alpha was so pissed, you do not want to be part of whatever happened that period.” She gasped dramatically, bringing both hands to cover her lips as if in blasphemy. I rolled my eyes at her comment.

“On the contrary, whether or not he’s attached to the scent because of his mother, I would rather not know. My fingers are necessary to heat up milk and pick a lock.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know… in case I get locked up another time for loving Declan a little too much.” I corrected, snuggling into his neck just enough to earn a giggle from him and a hearty laugh from Gwen.

“You’re out of your mind, Larissa.” She said amidst laughter, causing me to laugh as well. “It’s good to not see you so uptight. You can be quite funny.”

I rolled my eyes at her comment, although playfully. She was right. Somehow, I may have lost my inner child and myself as well to everything that has been happening to me. But despite it, I was happy just holding the boy in my arms. If only my mate would somehow accept me for who and what I was instead of abandoning me to deal with my feelings, we could be an actual family. It would be magnificent, even if it was simply wishful thinking.

“…issa? Larissa? Larissa!”

The frantic voice snapped me back to reality and I whipped my head to look at Gwen sitting in front of me with a loo of concern. “Back down to earth, Larissa. You’re spacing out, what are you thinking of?”

I shook my head in responsive denial. “Nothing, nothing at all. I’m just stressed, that’s all.”

“Cooped up in this room the whole day, yet you’re stressed? Like that happens every day.” She was clearly not buying my excuses. I couldn’t tell her exactly what it was. She would see me as an idiot instead.

“Gwen?”

“Mhm?”

“What do you think would happen if you fell in love with someone you shouldn’t? Will you pursue your feelings or you’ll forfeit it because you don’t believe it would work out?” I asked slowly, studying her reaction.

She looked taken aback by my question, shocked even, making me uneasy. Did she already know?

She relaxed after staring at me for a moment, now staring at nothingness as if in thought. She folded both arms, before looking at me again.

“Well, I feel attacked. Because I think I’m in the same situation, Larissa. Don’t let a single wolf know about this, okay?”

Well, I did not expect that answer. She looked genuinely concerned, staring intently at me and I nodded. “Promise.”

“So I don’t think I would pursue it. I’m in love with one of the Geminis. Ever heard of them?”

I shook my head.

“They’re Alpha Kaden’s most trusted warriors. They’re excellent fighters, sometimes I believe he trusts them more than he does his own beta. His name is Jacob. He’s sorta…a Casanova, but I can’t help it! He’s so charming and the sweetest and…”

“And I think someone’s in love.” I teased, watching her roll her eyes after. “You had literal stars in your eyes right now.”

“But he’s not my mate. His twin is, but he’s too busy sleeping around to admit it. So, I don’t even know what to do since I may have made out once or twice with Jacob and his brother doesn’t know.” She countered, sobering up immediately. She was now staring at the ceiling while I had my mouth hanging open in shock. That was the last thing I expected to hear. The actual fuck?

“That’s messed up, Gwen.”

“I know, there’s no need to tell me that. The point is, I can’t pursue it. I know nothing would ever happen between Jacob and I, so why set myself up for heartbreak?” She finished with a heartbreaking smile, shaking it off. In a second, she was smiling widely again, tapping at Declan’s arm to get him to play with her. I wasn’t going to lie, I was perplexed by Gwen’s sudden confession. If anything, I didn’t see myself in a better situation.

“Why are you curious, by the way?”

I shook my head at her question. It wasn’t important for her to know. I flashed her a quick smile, ultimately deciding to change the subject.

“That’s not important, Gwen. But I do have another question.” I answered, watching her fix all of her attention on me. She cocked a brow in question and I let out a sigh. “What happened to the alpha’s former mate? I’m just curious though.”

Her eyes narrowed, looking at me like I’d said something treacherous. I made a face at her and she snorted before returning to the familiar serious demeanor that made me uncomfortable.

“It’s a forbidden topic. No one in the pack knows exactly what happened, but we are forbidden from talking about it. You’d hear some gossip here and there sometimes though, we don’t know what’s true and what’s not.”

“Like what?”

She cleared her throat and gave me the most concerned stare I’d seen in her eyes. “Larissa, sometimes, being too inquisitive could land you in so much more trouble than you can imagine. But if you’re really curious, perhaps you should just ask Annalise. Rumors say she was the only one there when everything happened.”

Of course, Annalise yet again. I nodded at her answer and turned to Declan who was now playing with my crusted fingers. I had to ask Annalise. Was the alpha’s former mate good to him? Did something happen to her? Or he couldn’t get over her just yet?

I needed to know for his actions to make sense to me. I was so tempted to read meanings into his misleading actions, but now I was more worried about knowing who his mate was.

I could not pursue my feelings until then. And I’d be damned to let myself hope that one day, he’ll accept me as his mate if he was still attached to his former mate. Yet, I hated myself for caring regardless. This might just turn out to be a bloody repeat of my mistake with Stefan.