Scarred Luna

Kieran’s POVNôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

“Wait, what?!” Xander exclaimed and I rolled my eyes.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked and I almost groaned out loud.

Of course he would deny it.

What else was I expecting?

I have had zero experience with men. The only man I’ve known my whole life was Lucas. If not because I met someone like Carlos, Lucas’ beta, I would have no reason to believe men weren’t all the same.

It made me give Xander a chance and it was worth it but now, I wasn’t sure what to think anymore.

I hated generalizing or being stereotypical, but at that moment, I couldn’t think of anything else other than my betrayed heart. Perhaps I just expected too much.

I wouldn’t say I knew a lot about Xander, but with the little I knew, I thought I knew him to a fair extent. Turns out I didn’t know him all too well. I felt like I had foolishly deceived myself into believing that he was different, and all it took was a sunset picnic and a couple of stolen kisses here and there in the palace. Anger burned in my veins at the mere thought of it. How could I have allowed myself to get distracted so soon and so easily too?

“Kieran.” Xander called out to me again, his deep baritone cutting me out of my thoughts. I had still refused to look at him, but I couldn’t help but feel his gaze on me soften at intervals.

“What are you talking about?” he asked again.

“You know what I’m talking about, Xander” I said as I shook my head in disbelief. You could say I was being stubborn, but right now it was more than necessary. He had to know that what he had done was wrong.

“You told Alice that we were mates, even after I asked you not to tell anyone. You promised.” I said, my voice almost breaking at the end.

“Yeah, I did promise and so far, I have definitely kept that promise. I have no idea what you’re talking about” he said and I let out an exasperated sigh at his response. How the hell were we supposed to move past this if he wouldn’t just admit it.

“Why the hell would I tell Alice?” he asked and I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I should be asking you that question.” I shot back.

The more I thought about it, the more stumped I was, because it just didn’t make any sense. Why would he even tell Alice? Prior to this moment, I could bet my life that there was no sort of relationship between them. She only just worked for him, so what could have led to him telling her? “Since when did Alice get on the list of people that should know certain things? Certain things about us?”

“Kieran, you have to believe me,” Xander let out.

“I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her anything. It makes absolutely no sense for me to do so” he tried to reason with me.

“If you didn’t tell her,” I snapped. “Then, who did? Huh?” I asked, my anger obvious.

“I’m just as confused as you are.” Xander shook his head. “If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known.” he said and I calmed down a little.

“But you were the only one I told.” And I was right. Literally no one, no one else that was breathing on this earth knew about it, except if you could count that snake, Alice.

“So how else could she have found out if you didn’t tell her?” I asked.

“I have no idea, Kieran.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him.

Did he really think repeating the same thing over and over would make me believe him?

“I honestly have no idea. The only person who knows about it is Oliver, but I can bet my life he didn’t tell Alice” he said.

Right. Oliver knows too. I almost forgot.

“Why?” I let out immediately.

“Because he promised not to.” he said and I scoffed.

Xander had also promised not to let anyone know and look at what had happened.

“Oliver might act like an idiot sometimes, but he always keeps his word, he makes sure of it. He told me he wouldn’t and he I’m sure he didn’t. He hasn’t even been around since then so how could he have possibly told her? Plus, they don’t even talk” he said and I clenched my eyes shut.

I parted my lips to say something but closed it up again.

What was I going to say? As much as I was mad at Xander and totally refused to see reason or meet him eye to eye, I couldn’t deny that his last statement actually made sense.

It couldn’t be Oliver which just turned the knives back to him. But why would he clear Oliver, just to put himself back on the hot seat.

Unless… unless, he really didn’t do it.

Xander had told me at the picnic that he had accidentally blurted it out to Oliver after he’d stormed out of dinner the other day.

He was jealous and didn’t like the way Oliver just wouldn’t let me be by overly flirting with me, so it was his way of putting a stop to it and I understood.

Oliver on the other hand, definitely tuned down his advances and I could almost swear that he mumbled something like an apology to me before he left.

“Do you see now?” Xander called out, his voice cutting through my thoughts.

“Can you see that I did nothing wrong?” he asked and I sighed.

No. No I couldn’t. Not totally. Because still, the question remains. And if Xander hadn’t told her, how the hell did she find out?

Was there new gossip in the mansion that went out spreading news about people’s mates and whatnot? I hadn’t heard of that before, but right now, I was open to anything.

“It just doesn’t make sense that Alice knows.” I shook my head slowly. My tone has switched from having molten magma in it, to resembling the cool rush of a river slowly crawling by.

“If you didn’t tell her and Oliver didn’t either, how then did she find out?” I asked.

“Beats me.” Xander shrugged.

“Right now, I’m just glad you’ve finally decided to see some sense in what I’ve been saying. Alice didn’t get that information from me.” he said and I sighed again, my hands dropping to my side.

A strange feeling washed over me immediately. It took no soothsayer to know that it was guilt. It was tiny, but it was there nonetheless.

Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped into the conclusion that Xander was the one who told Alice. I guess I should have made some findings about it first before holding on to the fact that Xander was the one who had told Alice. Now that he had cleared it out and I thought about it, it didn’t exactly make a lot of sense.

Xander was Alice’s boss and the Alpha King. There was no relationship between the both of them, so how could I have concluded that he was the one who had told her?

Alice on the other hand was a sneaky brat, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had done some unnecessary digging before she found out. She literally had no control when it came to minding her business. Plus-

“I can’t believe you actually thought that way.” Xander’s voice cut through my thoughts.

I jerked my head upwards. His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was really hurt that I thought that way about him.

“Really, Kieran?” he said.

“What?” I whispered, even though I knee what he meant.

A gust of wind rushed at me, barely carrying my words along with it.

“You were quick to judge that I was the one who told her.” There was something in his voice, something I didn’t like. Something I had never heard when he talked to me.

“You didn’t even think it through. You just decided to believe that I was the one who told Alice. Alice? Of all people. How could you even think that?” he said and I sighed. n

“Xander, I-” I tried to speak.

“No.” Xander shook his head, cutting me off.

“You really don’t have to say anything because I already understand what’s going on. You don’t trust me.” he said and I swallowed.

“What?” I murmured, my eyes shrinking into bits.

“Xander, no, you don’t understand-” I started but he cut me off again.

What was I even going to say?

“Oh, I understand alright.” He scoffed. “I understand perfectly well. If you trusted me then this wouldn’t even be an issue in the first place.” he said and I felt sadness tug at my heart.

“You know what?” He continued. He let out a chuckle and it was nothing friendly. It was hollow and cold, and I could feel it threatening to choke the life out of me.

“I can’t believe this was the reason why you’ve been ignoring me all this while. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder and you’ve been avoiding me ever since, acting like I’m not around and non-existent to you.” he said and I sighed again.

“Xander, it’s not…” I let out but was cut short by someone’s footsteps reaching my ears.

“Xander!” Sabrina exclaimed as she walked up to us.

“Kieran. There you both are, I’ve been looking for you guys. What’s going on?” she asked as I turned to her.

“Nothing.” Xander quipped and I swear his tone drove a stake deep into my heart.

“I have to leave now. I have work to do.” he said.

And without so much as a single glance at me, I watched Xander stalk off and saunter out of the garden, with my eyes trailing him. My heart ached so much at the way everything had played out. I just didn’t realize he was hurting so much.

“Kieran?” Sabrina called out to me again. “What happened? What did he want to talk to you about?” she asked and I almost groaned.

There was no way I could tell her about it, not even in a million years.

“Um, it’s nothing.” I shook my head slowly, whilst trying to come up with an excuse she would believe. “He just wanted to know some things about work”

“But he could have done that inside, don’t you think?” she asked.

“Maybe” I shrugged, and before she could say anything else, I chipped in.

“I have to go too, Mrs Eliza’s assignment isn’t going to do itself.” I said.

I wasted no time in leaving the garden, and as I headed up the stairs, I couldn’t help the feeling the was eating me whole. Guilt.