SAGE

Chapter 11

Sage Miller

I'm not a good guy. I can own up to that. I won't pretend that I'm good when I'm not but there's one

person I never wanna show my bad side to, because she doesn't deserve to be associated with

anything bad.

Because I want to be a hero to her, always. I have to be her hero. I need to be the hero, for everyone. I

need people to believe in me.

My thoughts were interrupted when I finally saw Alora stranding towards me with confidence after

waiting for so long for her.

And I was pissed. I have never waited this long for her.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I wasted no time and went off on her as soon as she was standing in

front of me. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?"

"I have a life Sage." She replied rolling her eyes off.

"I swear to God Alora. Please help me." I tried showing her how angry I was but I couldn't without

smashing into something. I'm not patient.

So instead of talking, I yank her to me roughly and smashed my lips with hers with force. She was

barely keeping up with me but she tried to.

I poured my anger to the kiss and gripped a fist full of her blue hair and pulled her head back exposing Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

her neck to me.

I snaked my other arm around her waist and pulled her to me. I attacked her neck and suck making

sure to leave a mark.

"I want you so bad. I've been wanting you for so long." The words escaped my lips before I could catch

them.

I felt her freeze the same time I did.

"Sage." She called me warningly. "You... eh.... are.."

She failed to say anything. I just held her shocked that I just said that out loud. I heard exactly what I

said and how it sounded. I pulled back a little not letting her go completely.

"We said no feelings." She breathed out and I did the same.

"And there ain't any." I said lying through my teeth. I don't know what I feel for her but I do know I'm

feeling something. Strong. The feeling went along the lines of possessive.

"And what was that. The thing you just said." He said it like the words disgust her.

"I want you." I shrugged. I down played the magnitude of the words. "I want to fuck you. What's wrong

with that? I haven't fucked you in so long."

She narrowed her eyes at me looking for something in my eyes.

"Ok." She said but her body was still tense.

I wasted no time and pulled her back to me. She could never deny me. I attacked her neck again. I

began to suck and she moaned and I sucked harder.

Suddenly as if remembering something she pushed my head.

"I don't want any hickey." She told me and I frowned at her.

I unwrapped myself from her and stared at her. She use to love when I marked her.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I don't__." She started bit I cut her off.

"I heard that but what? Since when?"

She averted her gaze and I knew she was hiding something from me.

My jaw worked itself.

"I just dont want them anymore." She tried to explain.

"Yeah I got that but why? I want a valid reason."

She started to stummer and like I said before. I'm not good guy. I have my flaws, too many flaws.

I cut her hesitation but attacking her neck and making sure to leave more marks.

She tried to struggle but I sucked harder.

"Get off me Sage." She managed to push me off and I stumbled back taken aback.

"What's wrong with you?" I boomed.

"What is wrong with you?" She threw back.

"You got a boyfriend. Is that it? You afraid he'll find out what a cheat and whore you really are, huh? Is

that why you took so long. Where you with him before you came here? Is that why you took so long?

You kissed him before you came here? Is that fucking it? You fucking whore. What is it? You have a

boyfriend now? Then what are you doing here? You wanted a break for your boy toy. I'm your plaything

right."

I didn't give her an opportunity to say anything. I blew off taking all the conclusion that came to mind.

I watched her face go from disbelief to shell shock then horror and I didn't feel an ounce of guilt.

I don't even know where that came from but going off on her felt disgustingly good.

"Cat got your tongue?" I smirked then pulled her to me.

I honestly didn't care if she was struggling. I smacked my lips on hers but didn't move them just to

leave her with an aftertaste.

I hummed on her lips then let her push me of her and I laughed. I turned around still smiling, her face

full of horror and shock.

I didn't let my mind wander off back to what just happened. I blocked her out of my mind.

Just like I said before, I only pretend that I'm all good and mighty for one and one girl only. And that's

not her.

I'm not a good guy and I probably never will. I'm just bad.

I'm just like Clara. No matter how much I try not to be but I'm her son after all. How much could I defer

from her.

The days went by and all they proved is that my life is crap. The bad days seemed to be piling up, one

bad day after another.

I would say I don't know how days have passed since I saw Alora but I would be lying. I know exactly

how long it's been. It's been 9 days and 3 hours. I know all of that. I'm pathetic right.

I'm more pathetic because I even know the minutes. My days since then have been hell.

The tension between Sebastian and I is insufferable. I tried talking to him but he's shit hell stubborn and

hot headed.

One time it came to blows and since then I tried staying out of his way.

It's hard to because we're in the same gang and we kinda have to talk sometimes when Styles tells me

to tell him something.

I think Styles does it on purpose just because he can. He likes to stir trouble and create the awkward

interactions. He's an asshole like that.

He wants to see if I'll snap and do something but I won't. I won't give Styles what he wants.

And this messed up my summer plans. Sebastian, Connor and I were planning to drink our asses off

but that's not happening anymore.

I do have my nights with Connor sometimes but other times he just disappears without a word.

He still doesn't wanna talk to his mom but I did call her and tell her that Connor is fine.

Lately when I'm at the hideout I spent my time at Styles office or ride along when he's doing arrands.

He was true to his words when he said if I stick with him I'll get to see how big the cartel is. And fucking

damn, it is huge and u haven't even seen half of it

The guys are jealous that I don't hang with them when I'm at the hideout anymore. They are jealous

because I'm the boss's favorite.

Since I hang with the Godfather now, they sort of hate me. Rumours spread of how I'm his favourite

and how I don't deserve to be since I'm the newbie.

So I avoid them most of the time.

"That's how I fucked her." My eyes snapped to him and my jaw dropped and I choked and coughed

violently.

Because of what he said.

I have no idea how we got to this topic.

"What?" I finally said when I got my coughing under control.

I watched as Styles laughed hard throwing his head back.

We were overseeing a shipment of guns on a harbour. Yes.. the cartel deals with guns too. That's the

other business I have the pleasure of knowing.

Styles assured me that's there's a load of other business.

"I've been ranting and you weren't even listening." He pointed out shaking his head in disappointment.

I asked him to explain to me about the arms dealing business.

"I'm sorry. I swear I did hear most of what you said." I said trying to redeem myself.

"Sure you did." He said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"Who is she?" He suddenly asked and the question startled me.

"Who is she what?" I tried playing innocent and he actually chuckled.

"Don't play dumb. Yoy know what I mean. I know that look. Who's messing up with your head Miller?"

He asked me and I laughed.

"I bet I know who she is." He teased me and I knew he knew who she is.

"I may have been a complete asshole to someone when I shouldn't have and I'm pretty sure she hates

my gut." I have no idea why I told him that but i didn't stop there. I continued pouring my soul.

After all, who will I tell. Connor is never around when I'm free and he hates Alora. He'll be more thrilled

to know she won't come around the house anymore.

Whenever Styles drops me off, he's either heading out or he already left.

And Sebastian is being a D-bag right now and he hates Alora too.

I can't talk to Eve because she hates my relationship with Alora and I don't wanna mess their

relationship with my issues because even if I'm wrong she'll choose my side. Always.

"I mean she isn't even my girlfriend just someone I'm fucking for fun."

"And you're stressed because?" He raised his eyebrow. "You're just fucking her it's not like you're in

love or some shit....."

And the moment he mentioned love, my whole body went stiff. I tried to hide it and listened to him.

".....you'll get yourself another fuck."

"They don't do it for me like she does. They__" I stopped when I realised what I was about to say.

I'm not in love. I only love woman and that's Eve. There's no space for someone else in my heart. She

takes every corner, every broken piece. There's no space left to love another person.

"Look, from where I'm standing it looks like you two are getting attached. So I say, good riddance." He

said.

No, I was the only one getting attached from the looks of it. She wanted to call it quiets. I could tell but I

couldn't let her.

"Right now you might look at it at being heartless but it's not. You're saving yourself. Soon or later she

would've wanted more than you're willing to give. She would've wanted a relationship and rings and all

that shit woman wants. And you wouldn't have been able to give it to her. Unless you're ready."

He concluded and looked away. My mind automatically concluded for him.

And you were ready. I thought.

"I was ready." He whispered so low that I barely heard it. I almost thought it was in my thoughts again.

I looked at the harbor and realised they're done loading into the trucks. And I saw that Styles also

realised it.

"And that's done." He declared standing up and walking to his men.

Only a couple of steps away from me he turned around and said something that made my heart

pounded faster and hard in my chest.

"I caught Dante's killer." He paused. "Or at least the traitor at least. If you're interested join me."

He walked off. I watched as he gave gave orders. Completely in control of the situation. It still amaze

me how all these men follow him.

I mean the dude is almost 19 leading men that are 30 years or more. And they do everything he says

without question or hesitation at that.

After he was done at the habor Styles dropped me off at my house. I was beyond exhausted. It seems

like lately I'm always exhausted. Styles's job is exhausting and I'm not even the one doing it. I just tag

along but it always drain me dry.

When I pop in the living I'm surprised to see Connor home. I actually jumped, startled when I saw him.

"Connor." I breathed out. "You're here."

He rolled his eyes.

"Where else would I be?" He sarcastically asked.

"I don't know. You're always gone." I mumbled indicating I'm done with this conversation.

I went to sit down next to him. He spared me a glance and said.

"You look like shit." He pointed out in a monotone voice and I wanted to be sarcastic but I was tired and

sarcasm is draining.

"I feel like shit and I'm fucking hungry." I told.

"I bought pizza but it's cold now. Can warm it for you." He started to get up but I grabbed his wrist and

and stopped him.

"I'll do it myself." I told him. "Beside pizza is best cold."

I mentally chuckled at that. I can actually hear Eve saying 'You're better than that'. She said that

everytime I was lazy to warm up food.

I found the pizza box on the counter. I was actually lazy to take out a plate so I just grabbed one and

shove it in my mouth.

I opened the fridge and took out the last bottle of water that I saw this morning. Assuming that Connor

didn't use it.

I reached inside and took one and closed it. I opened it and drank, eating my pizza and after the

second piece my brain finally caught up with my actions.

I narrowed my eyes thinking. I went back to the fridge and opened it. I was shocked to see it stocked.

I blinked and everything was still there. I don't remember stocking the fridge. In fact it was almost

empty except for some spoilt food I had there. Eve hasn't come around to help me with grocery.

I closed the fridge and opened it again. I'm not crazy. The fridge is stocked.

I walked back to the living room and saw Connor in the same position I left him in.

"You stocked the fridge." I didn't ask him. It was a statement but he replied.

"Nah, I only did the buying. Kate did that." He said and I actually choked on my own spit.

"What?" I coughed then drank the water.

"She came around this afternoon and waited for you." He explained."Oh, Sage. Before I forgot. Here."

He looked some rolled bills and I frowned at him.

"For letting me stay here. You could use it for the cable or water bill or electricity. Or whatever you see

fit."

I frowned at him and I was actually insulted by his gesture. I never made any action showing that he

should pay for living here.

I can accept the food he bought because he'll probably eat everything by himself but wanting to pay my

bills. It's insulting.

"I don't want your money. I'm okay paying it. You're my guest." I tried to sound neutral as I made it up

the stairs to shower. "You're my friend."

"Okay." He said. "And you won't find me when you come down. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" I asked and cringed mentally hoping I didn't sound controlling because you

never know how people interpret it. "I'm asking because I might wanna join."

He hesitated for a few second, pounding on whether to tell me or not.

"I'm going to see my mom. I told her I'll come to dinner tonight." He said and a grin broke out on my

face. I've been pestering him to go see her.

I'm happy he finally listened.

"Don't let me hold you. Go. Don't make her wait." I urged him going up the steps.

"And good luck." I said to myself.

■■■■■●●●●■■■■●●●■■■●●●■■●●■●

Surprise..... This is a surprise P.O.V

Connor Simpson POV

My life is a fucking ridiculous joke. I hate it. But I didn't always hate it though. My life was perfect, well

as perfect as it could be raised by a single mom who has different boyfriends every now and then.

But I was content with it. It was what it was but I was fine with it, even with a blackmailing asshole, I

was content. Up until a few weeks back that is.

The cab I called parked in front of me and I got in. My house was very far.

I was lucky that asshole of a boss gave me a night off when I aksed. I hardly get those this days. He

over works me.

I know what you're all wondering. Why is he blackmailing you? What's he blackmailing you with? What

is he making you do? Who is he?

Well I'll answer all those questions.

His name is Dickhead. Alright, alright. His name is Maze. A real asshole if you ask me. I fucking hate

him. I may not tell him that but I'm sure he knows.

And why is he blackmailing me? A funny story really, last November. That's when it started.

He happen to park his car and I was watching him. A very expensive car at a ghetto township and he

didn't lock it and I saw it. I watched as he walked inside the club.

The devil tempted me to steal and drift with it. I wasn't going to steal steal it. I was just going to drift and

bring it back afterwards.

How was I suppose to know he can control the car with his watch.

I stole it and drifted and he let me do it. I drifted and when I was bringing it back it locked and I couldn't

get out.

Turns out it had a camera and it captured everything.

He used that to get me to race for him.

That's all. Since last November, I've been racing for him. Illegally of course.

When I snapped out of my thoughts the cab had already stopped in front of my house.

I paid the driver and left him a huge fat tip. I'm finally getting paid for racing for that shithead.

After racing to pay for his tires for seven months, he was finally paying me.

Of course I lost races at first increasing my debt to him because he had to pay the bet money since I

couldn't afford it.

Now I'm very good.

I looked up the house I grew up in and exhaled and walked up to the door. It felt so foreign being back

here.

I only had to knocked once and she opened the door.

She pulled me into a tight hug and I felt her shaking and small sniffs. I couldn't return the hug. I just let

her hug me.

I haven't seen her in over three weeks. Sure I talked to her for a few seconds during this week.

"I was thinking you wouldn't come." She confessed still hugging me.

I pulled myself off her.

"I said I'll come." I told her keeping my voice neutral.

"And I'm happy you did." She beamed stepping aside letting me in.

I felt like a stranger inside my own house. I haven't been here in so long.

I looked around for any changes. It's was the same but different.

It looked like my house but didn't either.

It's like you've been seeing this pic of your favorite person in your phone, and you always admire how

flawless her skin is. But that is until you finally meet her and you notice freckles on her cheeks. It's still

her but not the her you always saw on your phone.

That's how I felt in my house. It was still my but at the same time not my house.

"I missed you baby." I cringe at the pet name but I tried to hide it.

I have to admit it. I missed mom. I'm still pissed at her but I missed her. I missed her home cooked

meals.

The only time I had a home cooked meal was when Sage's sister dropped by and made us lunch and

dinner.

"I cooked your favourite." She beamed moving around the sitting room. "Sit down I made everything."

My mom was trying way too hard. The table was over flowing with food and it was just the two of us.

But it just pissed me off. She was acting like nothing was wrong. She was thinking that because I love

food she could fix everything with it like she always do.

But this isn't like the other times he wanted t introduced yet another boyfriend. Now it's much worse

than that.

Food won't fix it.

"Mom." I called low.

"Are you coming back home son?" She asked but didn't give me any chance to answer. "I'm so happy

you are. I don't touch anything in your room. I don't see your magazines. I__."

"Mom! Don't push it." I boomed stopping her dead in her tracks. She looked at me with her eyes wide

open.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that because you're here. You..... I'm sorry." She averted her gaze from mine.

"I just want us to talk mom. We need it. Let's fix this okay." I told her still keeping my voice void of any

emotions because the only emotion I'm feeling is anger.

"That's okay. We'll do it your way." She said but she left the room.

For a moment I thought she would run but she came back a few minutes later and settled down.

I could tell she didn't wanna talk bit I wanted answers. I needed them.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked and cleared her throat.

I thought for a moment and finally my mind concluded.

"Let's start by my father." I said and I watched her wince.

What I knew about my father was simple. He's a jerk and an asshole who left my mom when she told

him she was pregnant with me.

I don't know his name. His age. His friends. Nothing.

I'm grateful that my mom kept me when her family disowned her because she wouldn't abort me.

"What do you wanna know?" She asked, her voice had changed again.

"I wanna know how you met. Who is he? Stuff like that." Any boy needs his father. At least I do.

"Why? He left us. He didn't want you." Mom couldn't help but snarl.

"I know that. You do remind me every time." My told her.

She isn't a bad person but after a bad breakup she'll say stuff she doesn't mean.

She'll say I chase away all the men in her life. No man will stay with her because I'm around. She'll

start by mentioning my father to her latest ex.

I know she doesn't mean any of it because she loves me. She sacrificed wealth to keep me after all. If

she never loved me she would've never left her rich family.

"I've told you before. I'm your mother, your father, your aunt, your uncle, your grandmother, your

grandfather. I'm all you'll ever need." When she was done she was breathing hard.

"I want to know mom. What's so bad about that?" I matched her voice.

"Why do you wanna know? Am I not enough for you?" She asked.

"You introduce all those different men on my life and they never stay. I want a male figure who is

constant." I told her.

"He never cared about us. He left the moment he knew of your existence. At least those men care."

She yelled standing up and pushed the car back and it fell.

"Like Sebastian cares. A kid. Not just a kid ma, my friend!" I yelled back and stood up.

"Don't you dare involve him." She dangerously warn and my jaw drop.

"What mom.? He's half your age and does the fact that he's your son's friend concern you." I asked in

disbelief.

"I haven't seen him since you caught us." She said and I winced.

The picture is still engraved in my mind. My friend's face between my mom's legs. That is hard to get

over and forget.

"Oh should that make me feel any better.?" I asked her and just then someone rang the door bell.

Both of us stopped and looked at each other. Mom said she'll get it, without really thinking about it, I

followed her.

She opened the door and her whole body tensed. Her body was covering the person on the other side.

She twisted her head and looked back at me and back at the door and I frowned.

Mom was about to close the door when the other person stuck a foot to stop her.

Annoyed at the audacity of that person, I went to peek from behind mom. I had this sick feeling that I

knew who was at the door but I wasn't prepared to see him.

My stomach twisted. I wanted to throw up. That's how sick I felt seeing his face.

"Yeah you haven't seen him right." I scoffed. "Here comes the stepfather."

"I swear it's the truth." She pleaded and I glared at Sebastian who was just standing there with his hand

in his pockets.

"Was that why you cooked all those food?" I suddenly realised. "To introduce him as your new

boyfriend."

A spat the words and mom went to hug me but I stepped back.

"No honey. That's not it." She tried to say. She turned her head to Sebastian who hasn't said a word.

"What are you doing here?"

She hissed at him. I felt my heart break. I had little problem with his boyfriends before but this is too

much.

She's my mom. She should respect herself and teach me to do the same.

"You know what mom? I'm done. I was actually ready to talk and forgive you. I was ready to put all this

behind me and I thought you've ended it because it broke us apart. I thought you've missed me but I

see now that you were with this piece of shit instead."

"Watch your fucking mouth." And for the first time Sebastian opened his mouth.

Mom went to grab my wrist, I yanked it away.

"Don't touch me." I warned her and hurt invaded her facial expression. I turned to Sebastian and

snarled. "Or what? You're a piece of shit. Good for nothing."

I provoked him. I'm sure as hell I could take him on any day.

Maze trained the shit out of me. He put me through hell making sure I can fight. I never thought it was

necessary but he's one paranoid niggar and right now I couldn't be more grateful he forced me to do it.

"Connor stop." Mom stopped me when I began balling my fists ready to punch him.

"Defending your lover." I said to her dropping my hands to my sides. "I never took you for the couger

type."

I snarled the words and pushed myself out the door, pushing Sebastian in the process and he stumbled

and almost fell.

I felt a small feeling of satisfaction at that before he grabbed by elbow and turned me around.

"Don't talk to your mom like that. Respect her. I thought you were all about that respect shit." He said

and I looked at my horrified mother.

I glared at both of them and felt even more sick. I had to get out of here.

"I'm gonna stay at Sage's." I told her and I watched as her tears fell.

A part of me felt bad for her that's why I had to at least tell her that but I couldn't be in the same space

with her right now.

I yank my arm of Sebastian. He then took a step towards mom.

"How cute, the lovers." I spat then walked away.

I thought of turning back and punching Sebastian out cold but thought otherwise.

Their not worth it. I disappeared into the night.