Ruthless Mafia Daddy (Alpha Mafia Daddies)

I tap my foot against the linoleum floor as I wait for my name to be called. The waiting room at the OBGYN’s office is filled with pregnant women with huge bellies, looking exhausted and swollen. But many of them have their partners at their sides, rubbing their hands on their bumps and looking blissfully happy.

My chest aches as I glance at the empty seat beside me.

I sit on my hands to stop myself from picking at my nails. I’ve been a wreck all morning, but thankfully, Andre has been pretty busy with meetings.

I honestly thought when he bought this company, it would be more of a vanity project, and he’d only show up for a day or two. But it’s clear I was wrong.

He’s always the first one in and the last one out, which means I have to be the same now I’m his assistant.

It also means I have to clear all appointments with him first, and there was no way in hell I was telling him about my ultrasound.

He thinks I’m at the dentist, and I will continue using that excuse until my belly pops.

Although I’m surprised he hasn’t put two and two together. Perhaps he just thinks I’m just naturally super horny because he’s continued fucking me after hours for the last two weeks, against every possible surface in the office.

It’s now Friday, and I’m starting to wince when I walk from how hard he’s taking me. But I can’t get enough.

Even when I get home, I’m having to pleasure myself in order to fall asleep because all I can think about is sex with Andre.

He’s still leaving almost immediately after we finish, but I’m glad. It’s tricking my mind into thinking this is only a physical relationship, because facing the reality of him not wanting anything more is too hard.

Then again, being alone waiting for an appointment with the obstetrician, about to see my baby for the first time, is a pretty harsh reality.

I never imagined that when I got pregnant, I would be doing this alone.

I keep my eyes down, not wanting to look at all the happy couples. Cassi did offer to come with me, but I didn’t want her to get in trouble at work. She’s coming over later with pizza so I can share all my news with someone at least.

There’s no way I’m ready to tell Aunt Maria yet. Not until I figure out what the hell I’m going to do about Andre.

If I don’t tell him, I’ll have to leave before he figures it out. There’s no other way. We’ve been fucking enough, and oral contraceptives don’t always work. He’d put two and two together, and I can’t stand the idea that he might force me to get rid of this baby.

“Lila Morano?”

I glance up and find Dr. Waite smiling at me.

He must be in his late fifties, with graying hair and kind eyes.

I get to my feet, my legs shaking as I wipe my sweaty palms on my dress.

“Yes, that’s me.” I cross the waiting room.

I follow Dr. Waite down a corridor until we get to his office.

“I’m going to need you to remove your underwear and take a seat on the chair for me, ok?” he says.

“Uh, ok.”

He smiles at me, pulling a curtain around the chair to give me some privacy.

I kick off my flats and reach beneath my dress to remove my underwear. I opted for something more flowy rather than the skin tight number I wore the other day. Though I don’t think it would make much difference what I wore right now. From the heated looks Andre gives me when I’m near, I know I could be wearing a garbage bag and he’d still bend me over his desk and fuck me.

My cheeks redden. I shouldn’t be having such thoughts in the OB’s office.

I slide onto the chair, the blue paper rustling beneath me, and pull the modesty cover over my lower half.

“All done,” I say.

Dr. Waite pulls back the curtain and takes a seat on the rolling stool.

“Ok. So, today we’re going to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound,” he explains. “Because you expect you’re only around eight weeks along, correct?”

“Yes.”

My ears are ringing as I watch him pick up a long probe and cover it with a condom and some gel.

I’m gripping the edges of the chair so tightly my knuckles are turning white.

“No need to be nervous. This won’t hurt a bit. Please, place your ankles together and let your knees fall open for me.”

I lean back, looking up at the ceiling as I open my legs. I wince as I feel the ultrasound wand be inserted.

“You’re doing great.”

I nod, my eyes pricking with tears. Not from the pain, but from the fact that I have no one beside me to hold my hand.

“Ok, let’s see what’s going on,” Dr. Waite mutters as he turns on the monitor beside us.

I watch, hardly daring to breathe as a black and white image appears on the screen.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

He continues to move the wand around, not saying anything as he watches the monitor.

“Is everything ok?” My heart is starting to pound in my chest. “There is a baby, right?”

He chuckles.

“Yes, there’s a baby. Look.” He turns the monitor toward me, pointing to a tiny blob on the screen. “Right there.”

My breath catches.

“That’s…my baby?” I whisper.

“It sure is.” He smiles. “I’m just going to do a few measurements to determine your due date, and then we can listen for the heartbeat.”

My eyes glass over as I watch the screen, in complete awe of the tiny blob.

How can that little bean turn into a fully-formed human in only a matter of months? It’s both incredible and terrifying at the same time.

“Ok, here’s the heartbeat.” Dr. Wait presses a few buttons on the keyboard, and suddenly I hear a soft thumping noise.

“Oh, my god.” I cover my mouth as I listen.

“A very special moment.” He smiles at me. “I’m just going to print off a picture for you, and then we’ll finish up.

By the time I’m getting dressed, my cheeks are damp with tears.

“I’d like to see you again in four weeks for another scan.” He hands me the ultrasound picture.

“Thank you so much.” I sniffle, smiling, my vision blurry from crying.

“You’re most welcome.”

I wipe my eyes as I walk back toward the waiting room, clutching the picture to my chest the entire time.

After I book another appointment, I head outside and call Cassi.

“How did it go?”

“I heard the heartbeat.” My voice cracks.

“Woah! That’s amazing!”

“It is,” I sob, looking at the picture again. It barely resembles a baby, but I can make out the head and an arm. “It’s so real now.”

“I can’t wait to see the picture.”

“I’m so glad I have you, Cassi.”

“You’ll always have me, Lils,” she says. “I have to go back to work, but I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”

I hang up the phone and start the walk back to the office. I have no idea how I’m meant to act normal for the rest of the day, but I can’t suddenly call in sick. It would only make Andre more suspicious.

Andre.

I heard our child’s heartbeat today, and he has no idea it even exists.

A wave of guilt floods me, and I almost cave and call him.

But I realize it’s because I crave what I witnessed in the waiting room today. A partner, someone to hold my hand through this life-changing process.

I know I have Cassi, and eventually my aunt will come around, but they won’t be sitting up with me at all hours of the night as I feed the baby or help pick out a pre-school or teach it to walk.

I’ll be doing this alone.

And I need to start reminding myself of that.

As I start the twenty-minute walk back to the office, I keep one hand on my abdomen, lost in thoughts about my childhood.

When my mother was in this position, she had no idea that the very life she was growing would be the one to take hers.

I did that. I took her life.

What if the same thing happens to me?

The thought of leaving this child without a mother has my heart cracking open.

Who would take care of it?

Maria already took me in, and I always felt as if she resented me for it. I know my dad blamed me for the fact that mom died. It haunted him to be around me, and eventually he bailed.

I have no reason to believe that Andre wouldn’t do the same.

There is an actual life growing inside me, and yet I’ve never felt more alone.