Love for the Librarian

The next morning my head is still killing me. I gladly accept the pills that Katelyn gives me along with Gatorade. I head to the shower and put on clean clothes. I start to feel myself by the time I finish. I come into the room and see Katelyn and Kevin watching me. “I’m alright guys. Katelyn, can I have my phone. I think I should call my mom. Maybe Dylan too. You know, deal with that.”

She eyes me. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah it needs to be done.” I hold my hand out for my phone. She hesitates for a minute and then hands it over.

I take the phone and go outside. There is a chair by the door that I sit in. I contemplate who to call first and decide on my mom. “Hey mom, just checking in.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

“I am so glad to hear from you. Dylan came over after you left and he looked really disappointed that he missed you.”

“Yeah, I think he will miss me.” I don’t want to go into details with my mom, she knows that things happened.

“How is the trip so far? Are you having fun?”

“Of course. Katelyn and Kevin are great. This is really fun. It will take us about a week but it will be worth it. I didn’t want to be in a plane. Maybe a train would have been better.”

“I love to travel by train. Think about it sometime. I miss you already. I will keep busy though. I do have some news for you.”

“Yeah.”

“Your father came by and he brought the divorce papers. I feel liberated really. He said something about someone else, so you might have a stepmom sometime. I just thought it was something you should know.” I can hear a tinge of sadness. I don’t like hearing my mom like that.

“I am glad you feel good about it mom. Don’t worry about the whole stepmom thing. I would have to spend time with my dad to even acknowledge her. Right now I do not see that happening. He really doesn’t care to spend time with me, so why should I try to spend time with him.”

“He might just be busy right now. Don’t write him off just yet. I know he loves you.”

“I won’t but he is going to have to make the first step. I am not going to be pinging his phone all the time.”

“Speaking of phones, I will be paying your bill while you are in school. I know you are going to be tight on money, so this is one thing you won’t have to worry about.”

“Thanks mom. So I just wanted to check in. I need to get some breakfast before we hit the road again. I think I am driving the first leg.”

“Alright honey, I love you, call when you can. Oh, and Riley, call Dylan. Get some closure.” It isn’t a demand, but a suggestion. She really does like Dylan.

“I will mom. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I ended the call and paused for a minute before I called Dylan. It only rang once before he picked up. “Thank God. I thought you weren’t going to talk to me ever again.”

“I will talk to you. I just think you have more important things that you need to deal with right now.” I try to keep the anger out of my voice I really do, but I am sure that it has crept in there.

“Nothing is more important to me than you right now.”

“What about that baby?”

“I told you I don’t think it is mine. I will of course have a paternity test done to determine if I am the father. If I am, I am filing for full custody. See taken care of. Now you. Baby, don’t leave me. I told you before we can work on this long distance thing.”

I take a deep breath because this really pains me to say this. “Maybe we should just cool things down for now. Maybe it would be best to curb it until I come back. I mean a lot of things can happen in four years. You could meet someone that you actually want to be with from the start.”

“Riley I do want to be with you. I do now and I will in the future.”

“I know you say that now, but like I said four years is a long time. I will still be your friend. I’ll still be here for you.”

“You remember that promise that you made. To always be there for me.”

“Yeah, of course I do.” I think it is the only reason why I am on the phone right now. Cause I definitely do not want to talk.

“How you can do that for me is whenever I call, you answer. I need you more than you know. If you can do that for me for the next four years then I will wait if that is what you really want.”

“This is what I need right now. It may not be what I want, but I want to know that you really want me. Right now I feel like a consolation prize. I don’t like that feeling. Dylan I need to know that I didn’t hold you back from anything.”

“You could never hold me back. You aren’t that type of person.”

“I know that, but it wouldn’t change how you would feel if you were trapped in a relationship with me.”

“You could never trap me. Baby I want to be with you.”

“Dylan, do me a favor.”

“Anything.” I can hear the hope in his voice. As if he can do this one thing then he will be back in my good graces.

“Date, try out the world out there without me. If in four years you still have the same feelings for me and I you then we can talk about this relationship thing.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” His voice has dropped. The hope is gone.

“Do it for me.”

“As long as you answer whenever I call. I know there might be times in class, but I will try to only text then. Just don’t stop being there for me.”

“Alright. I got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you.” Then he ends the call. I think he doesn’t want to hear a response to that. I am not even sure if I would have said anything anyway.