Chapter 61: Never
“Mama!”
The door swung open revealing Sander who had a worried expression on his cute, handsome face. He immediately jumped into the bed and buried his face in my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I asked softly and looked up to see Desmond bringing a tray of hot soup.
“Papa said that we cannot leave today. He said that you are sick,” Sander said as he climbed to the bed and cupped my face. “Are you alright, Mama?”
I nodded my head and caressed his wavy hair. “Yes, I am actually alright. But your Papa said that I must stay here.” I glared at Desmond who just snorted and shook his head.
“Don’t believe your Mama, Sander. Mama is definitely not alright,” he said and sat on the edge. “Come here. Don’t sit on your Mama’s lap.” He immediately took Sander away from my lap and brought it to him.
“I am perfectly fine.” I squinted my eyes at him. “You are overreacting.” I meant he only hit me with the riding crop and the ointment he used on my buttocks already healed the pain searing in my skin yet Desmond was really stubborn not to allow me to get up in his bed.
Yes, in his bed. Well, it was once our chamber before. Now, he was the only one sleeping here.
Desmond scoffed. “But you cannot be able to walk though,” he said proudly.
That made me frown. Somehow, I could feel my cheeks in heat right now at his statement. Well, he was right.
I couldn’t move my legs this morning. Desmond really made me disabled for the whole night and didn’t halt just so he could make me feel good. I was also sore down there even if I was already soaked in the lukewarm water.
I just rolled my eyes as a response to his annoying remark. I looked at Sander who was exchanging his glance between Desmond and me.
“Is there something wrong, little man?” I slightly tilted my head. It looked like another head popped from the two of us.
Desmond also looked at Sander. “Yeah. Is there something wrong, son?”
Sander continued exchanging his glance between us. “Why is Mama sleeping here in Papa’s chamber? I thought Mama is supposed to be in her chamber?”
I stiffened at his question. I immediately glanced at Desmond who suddenly chuckled and winced our son’s hair. “Mama and I decide to make you a sibling, Sander.”
“Desmond!” I castigated him. I could tell that my cheeks were red right now because that was not supposed to be the plan why I was here.
I came here to provide my service to him. Not to the point, I am agreeing to conceive a pup!
I wanted to say that but Sander was here. I must contain my emotions or else, they would pour out again and would traumatize our son.
“Sibling?” Sander’s eyes sparkled.
“Yes,” Desmond answered and winked at me.
I frowned. “Desmond… Stop it.”
Damn this man… He was creating false hope for Sander. I must do what it takes not to conceive of his pup again. If he said last night that he would make me pregnant again, I would be forever trapped in his pack.
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What Desmond was making me realize was that all the efforts I would do in the near future would be futile.
“Really? I will become a big brother, Papa?”
I snapped back when I heard Sander’s beaming voice.
“Yes. That is why Mama is here. Let’s hope Mama will get pregnant after our vacation here.” He glanced meaningfully at me.
I could have sworn I had goosebumps with that glance. He meant that I must keep visiting him to be used by him again. Shit… Why did I let myself enter this situation again?
Ah, yes. It was because Desmond threatened me…
“I can’t wait to have a sibling soon!” Sander exclaimed.
At that moment, I was left with no choice but to stay silent and shake my head. These two… They had their own world again.
We went to the town of Elian the next day.
Sander had been wanting to take a stroll. Even though Desmond was quite hesitant since he thought that I would abscond, he couldn’t say no to our son.
The anxiety written on his face while we were taking a stroll was evident on his face. As much as I want to take this as an opportunity, Desmond never left his gaze away from me.
“Can you quit gazing at me?” I said through gritted teeth, glaring at Desmond.
“What? Is it bad?” Desmond grinned.
“You are making me uncomfortable.” I unfolded my fan and covered half of my face. Rolling my eyes, I darted my eyes at our son who was busy playing in the playground.
“We used to have a staring contest before. And it doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”
That made me want to bark at Desmond right now. “That was from before…” I squinted my eyes at him. How dare he keep bringing up the past.
Desmond just shrugged. It didn’t matter to him that I was talking to him in impertinent and brusque behavior. I thought I was discouraging him to speak with me but it seemed like he was liking it whenever we engaged in a conversation.
I thought that it was alright that I kept this behavior as long as he wouldn’t keep on threatening me.
“We can still do it though,” he said nonchalantly, gazing at me again.
I just shook my head in annoyance. He was really a stubborn man. How did I manage to accept him as my mate before? I felt like I was enchanted by this man.
I didn’t say anything and focused my eyes on Sander. Even so, I was feeling fidgety in my surroundings. I felt like I was being watched by someone.
I almost scoffed because his elites were keeping their eyes on me. It was ordered by Desmond again. Damn it!
I flinched when Desmond took my left hand. “What are you doing?” I hissed in annoyance to hide the fragments of sensation that crawled on my skin. My wolf had become giddy all of a sudden.
Desmond didn’t say anything. He just clasped our hands together while his eyes were fixated on our son.
I tried to yank back my hand but to no avail, he was stubborn.
“Our son is watching, seraphim.”
I stiffened and glanced at Sander. I glared back at him when I saw that our son wasn’t even looking. But he smiled sheepishly when he knew that he had fooled me.
“Asshole…” I secretly gnashed my teeth. I knew that he would do something again but I didn’t expect that he would hold my hand.
Desmond’s gaze melted when his eyes focused on our hands. I shivered a little when his thumb was caressing my ring finger.
“You used to have our wedding band here…”
I ignored how my heart leaped at his statement. “Because I threw it away,” I said nonchalantly.
That wasn’t a lie. I really threw that to the river because of how painful Desmond had done to our marriage. I was blinded by anger at that time but eventually, I tried to find that wedding ring but to no avail, I could no longer find it.
I was devastated at that time and regretted that I did it. I gave up on looking for it before I proceeded on looking for the next place to stay.
When I arrived at the town where I gave birth to Sander, I found out that I was pregnant with Desmond’s pup after a month of staying there. I was bewildered at that moment because I couldn’t believe that I would get pregnant.
From what I heard from their conversation in the past, Desmond said that I was infertile. But I thanked the Moon Goddess that She had granted me a handsome blessing.
I would cherish those moments I conceived my son even though I experienced hardships of providing everything to him.
His face showed a painful expression upon hearing it. “I see…” He smiled bitterly. “I am still wearing mine…” He glanced at his left hand.
I scoffed. “You never wore it back when I was making your tuxedo. You only wore that because I am here. What a hypocrite…”
“N-No!” Desmond exclaimed, facing me. “I-I’m actually wearing it as a pendant. From that time… I want you to think that I am happy without you even if seven years have passed. I mean turning eight years now, Seraphina.”
“Sure… I believe you,” I said in a frigid tone, treating it as a trivial matter.
Desmond wanted to retort again but he must have seen that I was uninterested to hear the other details he would like to say. I also noticed his sudden change of behavior. If from before he looked like an untamed wolf, right now, he looked like a puppy begging for his master’s attention.
Where was the arrogant, dominant, and cold behavior he had shown me last night? Where did he throw that attitude and he looked like a lost puppy right now?
I allowed him to hold my hand while he still kept caressing my ring finger. I only ignored the shivers I felt so he wouldn’t notice that his touch affected me so badly. That was why I distracted myself by waving my hand at Sander.
I caught his attention so he waved back before he approached the other kids of his age. I smiled because Sander looked so happy playing with them.
“I wish I could turn back to the time when we were still okay…”
I secretly gnashed when my chest tightened. This couldn’t be… His words were affecting me? And why were my eyes getting misty?
I ignored the sensation when he brought my left hand to his lips. “I hope you will forgive me soon…” he mumbled.
I clutched my skirt hearing his statement. Smiling bitterly, I looked away as I uttered the word that would surely break his heart and his wolf.
“Never.”