Breaking Rules

I’m not sure how I made it home safely. All I remember is Kate driving me home. She tried to talk to me, but I never responded. I was completely silent the entire time. And when I got home, I was still crying and staring blankly at the ceiling. My sobs can still be heard. I’ve already texted Señora Vetrua that I’m not going to the club to do my job. I simply stated that I felt terrible. I just can’t seem to find myself working in the meantime.

My mind is confused, and I can’t work properly when I’m like this.

I was lying on my small bed when I noticed Azi staring at me. He approached me as if he knew how I felt. I sat down and stroked his fur as I picked him up. He’s so adorable when he’s looking at me. He was still groaning slightly as if trying to relieve me. I simply smiled.

“Do I really deserve this, Azi? Why is everyone treating me this way? I just want to be like everyone else.”

And I hope I’m a normal person. I hope what happened before didn’t happen. All I want is for my parents to be here with me. I’m wishing they were here to lift my spirits. I’ve been alone for thirteen years, and I’ve been living without them for a long time. But why can’t I just get used to this? Why do I keep insisting on their presence by my side? When it’s so impossible to be with them right now.

I closed my eyes and laid my head on the couch. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine after this.

But how?

Especially since Kate stated that the video was feasted by the whole university. It was a scandal. And I don’t know how to react. I’m in pain. I’m humiliated.

I knew then that getting too close to Azazel was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Oh god.

I let out a sigh.

What should I do now?

I heard a knock on the door a few minutes later. First, I adjusted myself and placed Azi on the floor. I wiped my wet cheek and then combed my hair with my fingers. Who is it that is knocking at this time? Maybe Ate Una, my apartment’s landlady.

Before going to the door, I took a deep breath and blew it out. I was still wearing my long white dress. When I opened the door and saw who it was, my lips parted. It was Azazel, and he was carrying a bag. His face was devoid of emotion. But other than the pain, I couldn’t feel anything else.

“Hello, baby,” he hoarsely said. I slammed the door in his face. I leaned against the door, closing my eyes.

He knocked once more and even called my name. My astonishment at my attitude was evident. I get some paper and a marker and then wrote a message there. I don’t want to speak.

I don’t want to talk to him.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

“Go home, Azazel.” I slid it under the door. I believe he noticed because he spoke suddenly.

“Sera, let’s talk.”

I wrote once again.

“No, you should just go home.”

But when he slammed his fist into the door, I almost jumped back.

“Open the fucking door and let us talk.” As I wrote, I shuddered and burst into tears. It even splattered on the paper. My hand was still trembling as I typed.

“I don’t want to speak with you. Azazel, please return home.”

“Fuck it!” says one. He cursed and knocked again on my door. “Don’t anger me, Sera. Allow me to speak with you!”

“No, Azazel, go home. I’m pleading with you.”

“Damn! Sera, speak up. I’d want to hear you speak. Don’t just fucking write on me. Open the door, fuck it!” He slammed the door again. That was a lot more powerful than it had been.

“G-Go h-home! P-Please… P-Please…”

“Motherfucker. Sera, just open the door.”

“N-No! J-Just g-go. I-‘m a-afrai-i-id. I’m terrified of you.” He seemed surprised by what I said.

He laughed a few moments later. The type of laughter gave me shivers. There are no traces of emotions. There is no levity or anything. It was a hollow laugh.

“You’re afraid of me, huh? Fuck!”

“Go home.” I wrote over again.

A tremendous punch from him startled me again, so I shut my eyes tightly.

I heard him exhale violently. “Okay, I’m leaving now. I’m hoping to speak with you tomorrow.”

But, before he finally left, he spoke once more. “Pick up the items I bought for you.”

The door is still closed while he keeps on cursing. I didn’t open it until I heard his car drive away. I noticed two plastic bags on the side of my front door. There are medications as well as food. I just took it, but I didn’t even dare to touch it.

I couldn’t stop crying all night. Is this something I truly deserve? I’m not sure why I’m so upset or what I’m upset about. Was it because they were playing with me, or because Azazel had a girlfriend? I’m not sure why I’m confused. I just want to be free of him. I don’t want him anywhere near me.

I didn’t go to school the next day; perhaps I’ll just catch up on the lessons. I simply took Azi outside. We’re in the playground, so we’re letting him run around. But I didn’t notice him barking at someone. I went over to him and took him away.

I bowed my head to the man. It looks like he’s years older than me. His menacing black eyes are something to behold. As he looked at me, he was intense.

“Is that your puppy?” I nodded and averted my gaze from him.