A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

"Bernie?" The banging on the door becomes more aggressive and Rain hiccups and begins to cry. "I'm coming in one way or another, hon. Answer me, please?"

"What's it gonna be?" I ask the trio before me as I gently rock Rain, patting her back to soothe her.

This only seems to make her cry more loudly, and her screams echo through my small apartment.

"Bernadette!" Now the chief sounds panicked.

"He's using my full name. That's not a good sign," I say.

Darius steps aside. "Go. But watch what you say. We are not the ones who would be at risk were you to speak out of turn."

I narrow my eyes at the implied threat, but I hold my tongue when I see the unbridled violence simmering in his pitch black eyes. Turning away from his glare, I weave through the three guys towards my front door. When I yank it open, the chief--who was mid-knock--pulls his hand back, startled. "My God, Bernie, you gave me a real scare." His gaze drops to the screaming bundle in my arms and his eyes widen. "So it's true. You had your baby."

"I certainly didn't steal this one from someone else," I joke.

He chuckles and runs a hand through his slightly balding hair. "You had us all worried," he says as he cranes his neck to scope out my apartment. "Who helped you?"

I glance back at the men crowding the entrance to my bedroom, wondering how much I should say. Could Chief Roland help me get rid of these guys? From what I've seen, I'm not sure, but it doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. "Why don't you come in and meet my knights in shining armor," I say with a saccharine smile.

The chief blinks, likely unused to me acting this way when I'm not on bar duty. "Uh, sure. Yeah, I'd like that."

He's dressed in street clothes, but he shifts his coat just enough to reveal the gun holstered at his hip. I nod in approval and lead him into my apartment, which--to be honest, has seen better days. The hardwood floor is pretty timeless--if scuffed in places, but the couch is threadbare and sagging; the recliner is a relic from a different epoch, and not in a cool antique kind of way; the kitchen is littered with dated dishes and appliances that scream 60s yard sale rejects; and the wallpaper is peeling. And this wallpaper...yeah, not the trend. Still, it's been home since my mom died and my grandparents took me in.

The chief looks a little misty-eyed as he studies the place. "I haven't been in here since...."

"Since my grandfather died," I say. "Well, you're always welcome. Grandpa would love to know his old friends were still coming by."

Rain has finally settled down and, though she doesn't fall back asleep, is enjoying snuggling against my chest. "Would you like to hold her?" I ask, though I'm reluctant to let go of my baby.

The chief's eyes widen. "Yes. I would."

He has four of his own kids and a handful of grandbabies, so he knows how to support her head, but as he takes her, the three men hiding out near my bedroom appear, their predatory instincts on high alert. "Who might you be?" The chief asks, one hand dropping back to his gun as he clutches my child carefully with his other.

"These are the fine gentlemen who came to my rescue," I say, introducing them. "Zev here is a doctor of sorts, and he delivered little Rain with the help of his friends. They stayed to make sure I was okay. But your timing is perfect. They were looking for a place to stay in town. Maybe you could take them to Nancy's Bed and Breakfast and convince her to give them a room until the roads are clear enough for them to continue on their way?"

The chief frowns. "I'm sure Nancy could find you boys something."

Darius glares at me. "We are not in need of accommodations at this time."

"You're going to need somewhere to stay until the power comes back and the roads are safe for driving," I say sweetly.

The chief, sensing the tension, hands Rain back to me. "Why don't you boys come with me. We'll get you sorted. I'm sure Nancy will comp your stay for helping out our Bernie, here."

"Thanks, Chief," I say, nuzzling my baby. Why does she smell so good? How'd she get so perfect so fast?

When the guys don't move to follow him, the chief unsnaps his holster and pulls at his gun. "Do we have a problem here?"

Darius steps forward, his dark-as-sin eyes locked on the chief. "There is no problem here. You can leave. Bern--EE," he says, stumbling on my name, "is safe. We are friends here to help her. You will spread the word that we are staying with Bernie and everything is fine." "Hey, hold up!" I say, turning to the chief, but his pupils are dilated and he nods.

"Of course. So glad you boys are here to take care of her. If you need anything, call." And then he walks out and closes the door behind him, leaving me speechless with the three Sexies--who might need a new nickname at this point. The three irritants perhaps. Or the three pains in my ass, maybe.

"What did you do to him?" I ask, poking Darius in his rock hard chest. I swear I nearly sprain my finger. But he doesn't even flinch.

"What had to be done. This child is too valuable to leave unprotected," he says.

"Um, excuse me? I'm the mother, in case you assholes forgot that tiny detail. I can protect my baby just fine. And I think it's past time the three of you left."

Darius sinks into my couch, frowning in discomfort. "I won't be going anywhere. Not without the child."

I look to Rune and Zev but they each shrug. "I'm afraid you're stuck with us," Zev says with a flirty grin and a wink. "You get free postpartum medical support, if that's any consolation."

I hesitate, because that is actually the best argument they've had so far given my shit insurance. I had no idea how I was going to cover the cost of giving birth to Rain, and yet here I am, in the clear. However, Zev fails to mention the part about them all wanting to steal my baby. "Yeah, that's great, right up until one of you tries to snatch my kid. Also, come on, you can't all expect to stay in my tiny apartment. Where will you sleep?"

They each glance at the second bedroom, the one my grandparents shared for fifty years. "All three of you will share a queen bed?" I ask, bemused.

Rune frowns. "I believe our sleeping needs are different."

"Is this seriously happening?" I ask, frustrated beyond measure and suddenly completely exhausted. I hobble to the recliner as Rain starts to fuss again and begin nursing her just as my stomach rumbles. "When was the last time you ate?" Rune asks, casting a sideways glance at my sad kitchen.

I shrug. "It's been a while," I admit.

Rune heads to my kitchen and begins rummaging through cupboards. "When was the last time you acquired food?"Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.

I shrug again. "Look, it's been a busy third trimester."

Rune looks to Darius and Mr. Tall, Dark and Sexy sighs in annoyance, then in a blink disappears through my window.

What the-- "Listen," I say, pulling my gaze from the window to the remaining two Sexies. "You guys need to start acting like normal human beings if you plan on staying here, or this isn't going to work."

Sadly, my point is undermined when I yawn, exhaustion overtaking me.

Zev saunters over, his gait like a wild animal, sleek and fluid. "Come. Get some rest. Your body is still healing."

Another yawn takes control of my face and I don't argue as he helps me up. I burp Rain while making my way to the bedroom. I have no energy left for arguing, and it's clear it won't do any good anyways. Maybe with some sleep I'll have a better idea how to get these guys out of my life for good.