A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

9

pter 109

Matteo

There it was, the disappointment on her face.

I was holding myself back from saying anything else as she tried to calm herself down. I knew if another word came out of my mouth, she was bound to break apart. My heart had broke into pieces when I saw how much it was hurting her-she loved her job, she had worked hard for it but I couldn't let her risk her life.

The man we were hunting was on the run. He was getting closer to us, taunting us and we didn't get a single clue of where he could be. Luca and I had been working really hard in trying to find him, at least where he was hiding but we had failed multiple times. I never wanted to tell Alena about the late nights working at the office but she needed to know my whereabouts. Sometimes, I wanted to go home early but I couldn't rest until I knew where he was. I only wanted to know where he was hiding and I could end him. "So, you're going to make me stay at home?" She asked, looking at me.

"It's only for a little while. Just until we catch him,"

"How long will that take?"

I didn't have an answer to that. Neither did Luca.

We wanted some good news to come out of our search but every single time, we were left with disappointment. Every time I came home, I took a few minutes in the car to calm myself down from losing control. I was slowly losing my mind from the amount of stress but I needed to think about Alena's wellbeing first.

Alena needed to see how everything was under control. She didn't have to stress herself further about the unnecessary details even though this whole search involved her.

"A while. It will take a while." I answered.

We were staring at each other and I swore her stare could penetrate deep into

my

soul.

She was upset but she tried to understand the situation.

She had to be upset because I was doing the one thing she didn't want. She never wanted anyone to take control of her life decisions and she had came to me for that exact freedom. However, I was the one forcing her to let it go. As much as was painful for her, it was even more painful for me.

I never wanted to take away her freedom.

I never wanted to break her heart.

"You don't even know how long it will take," she muttered.

"I don't know, Alena. I wish I have the answer to give you but I don't,"

"It might take weeks or even months. I can't just keep taking days off."

"You have to. Every minute that you're away from me, it's a danger to your

as I made my way

life."

towards her, trying to grab onto her hand. Usually, it was one of the actions that could soften I stood

up

her up a

little bit but this time, she pulled her hands away from my grasps. She also took a few steps back from me, trying to be out of reach.

I didn't take another step further because I knew she was upset.

Alena had every right to be upset.

"I just need a moment," she said without looking at me.

Then, she walked away until she was out of sight. I could hear her walking up the stairs until she closed the door to our bedroom, leaving Luca and I in the living room.

She was probably in bed crying and I couldn't help but feel like a useless husband. All I wanted was for her to be happy. However, I had failed tonight, just like every other night when she had suffered while she was kidnapped. I was a failure. Luca cleared his throat before he grabbed his laptop, "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's something we need to talk about."

"Take the time you need. Call me if there's anything?"

I nodded, "Thanks, Luca."

He didn't waste any time as he stood up and walked out of the house. The front door had locked on its own due to the security system and I could hear him starting his engine before he drove away, leaving me alone with my own thoughts. 84%

While Alena was upstairs taking the time she needed, I took the opportunity to take the time I needed as well. It had been awhile since I was able to take some time alone without thinking about anyone else; I loved Alena wholeheartedly but I had neglected my own mental health recently, I hadn't taken a breakBelongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

I sat on the sofa as I stared blankly at the wall.

The things Mikhail said came back to me and I was beginning to feel my head throbbing. Mikhail and Alexei never liked me because of our peace treaty. The moment I married Alena, he had no choice but to remain as ally but I knew if he had the chance, he was going to eliminate me. He never wanted me in her daughter's life.

As much as I loved her daughter, as much as I cared for her, he was never going to see all of that.

All he cared about was his power.

I took another few minutes to myself, thinking about the things I could do to ensure Alena's safety. When we had gotten married, she was the main priority in my life-anything that involved her, it was my main concern. Anything that she wanted, anything that she needed, I had to be the one to fulfill them.

I glanced down at my wrist watch, looking at the time.

Slowly, I walked up the stairs and made my way towards our bedroom.

I knocked a few times before I opened the door, didn't know what to expect behind that door. I blinked a few times in the darkness as my eyes tried to adjust and as soon as I saw my wife, I was calm again.

Alena was laying on the bed, her eyes were closed.

I took a few steps towards her before sitting on the edge of the bed. I decided to take a closer look at my wife, seeing the cover was slightly wet from her tears and there were still some tear stains on her cheeks. She had cried herself to sleep and it broke me. I held back my own tears from falling.

eyes. She was It didn't take me long to pick her up but as soon as my hands touched her body, she had slowly opened her looking at me and I immediately stopped what I was doing because she already pulled herself back. I didn't like the distance between us but I understood her feelings at the moment.

w.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," she-muttered.

"Why would you apologise for that?"

She cleared her throat, "Did Luca leave?"

I nodded, "He just did."

"Can we talk, Matteo?"

"Of course,"

84%1

We were staring at each other for a few seconds before she started to speak. I was waiting for her to express her feelings to me, regardless if those words were going to break me even further. We were both going through a hard time and we needed to be there for each other. Some days, one of us needed more than the other.

"I really don't like the thought of not going to work," she spoke.

"I understand."

"I know that we don't have any other choice. I hate to think that we don't have any other choice," she added as she wiped away the fallen tears. She was still upset about what happened and I knew it was going to take a few days for her to feel better.

"I'm really sorry, baby. I wish things were different,"

Her eyes stared at me, as if she realised something.

"Are you starting to blame yourself?"

I looked away, sighing deeply.

"Matteo..." She called out when she didn't get any response from me.

"Everything happened because of me, Alena. You're in danger because of me. You have to stop living your life because of me. None of this would have happened if we didn't-"

She cut me off, "-if we didn't what?"

It was enough to silence me. I had fought to get her back but I didn't want to risk losing her because of the words that came out of my mouth. I never wanted to lose her. I never wanted to live a life without her. I knew it wasn't going to be worth living without my wife. "You know what I mean," I replied.

"If we didn't meet? If we didn't know each other? If we didn't get married?" She asked, completely saying the things that T couldn't bring myself to say. "Were you trying to say one of those things? I don't like any of that."

"We both know it's true...

She sighed, "Stop. Stop trying to agree

with my father,"

"Every day is hard for me. It's hard for me to know that you're unhappy because of what you're going through right now and I wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. You deserve so much more than what I have given you," I replied. "We're just really tired. We can't think straight."

As soon as she said that, I kept quiet. She was right, we were both exhausted and we weren't thinking straight. If we continued to have this conversation, we were going to say the things we regret and it wasn't w Chapter 109

"You're right," I breathed.

Alena slowly lessened the distance between us before she grabbed onto my hand, rubbing the back of it. She was looking down at my hands and I knew she was looking for any cuts or red marks but I hadn't been fighting anyone in awhile, she wasn't going to find any. We didn't want to say any other words. We just wanted to be quiet.

She leaned in, meeting my lips and we ended up kissing.

Our eyes were closed immediately as we kissed passionately. The kiss wasn't rushed and we only took our time in feeling each other's lips. I had missed the softness of her lips against mine even though we were only away from each other for a few hours. I loved how we were always in sync whenever we kissed.

I went to grab onto her face to deepen the kiss.

We had spent the next few minutes kissing, being in each other's touch because we had to remember, we were in love. We were always in love with one another despite every bad things that came into our lives-none of it was supposed to break us apart. I was in love with Alena. I never stopped.

And I knew, she was in love with me too.