Chapter 27: Cowards Way Out
Mikalya's P.O.V
I stood in front of my newly built house, staring at the cloudy skies above. It was going to snow soon, and the tiny buds of flowers that I had witnessed growing in the curvature between two rocks, would soon wither away when the temperature fell.
An aching pang of guilt fills me as my thoughts keep wandering to the man I had left behind, the one who was my mate. My other half.
In my mind, I knew I did the right thing because humans and wolves don't belong together. Our worlds were never supposed to meet in the first place. I had done what I had to do to keep him at arm's length, but in the end, I had failed to protect him from the horrors of the supernatural world.
He was better off without me; without getting involved in my tumultuous life. I had already caused him so much pain and confusion...I didn't want to add to the hurt and betrayal he was already feeling.
I glanced behind me when I heard a movement and Ruksaar came to stand beside me, admiring the house as she stood a silent sentinel.
The house had turned out to be magnificent, made completely of stones and wood. There was a heating system that ran throughout the length of the house, but I had avoided adding fireplaces to abstain from discovery. There were several rooms with the comfort of any luxurious hotel. It was a place where a pack would've thrived...if I'd chosen to be a true Alpha.
"Are you thinking about those you left behind? Because I definitely have been thinking about them," Ruksaar's voice was quiet, regretful.
"Are you talking about Kashmira and Kushal?" I asked.
Ruksaar gave me a sly smile, one that I was quiet familiar with. It was the smile she usually gave me when she was purposefully looking for trouble.
"Why? Were you thinking about Abhay?" she asked instead.
I stayed quiet, choosing to remain silent instead of adding to fodder to the fire she was trying to create. I knew her long enough to know all her tricks by now. "The silent treatment, I see." She chuckled, pushing me slightly with her shoulders, trying desperately to get a reaction out of me.
"For someone who is named 'Abhay' (fearless), he sure looked hella scared of what had happened that day." she chuckled.
"Ruksaar, anyone will be scared if they found out that humans can turn to wolves and falcons at will. Abhay was a simple human, blissfully unaware of all the dangers lurking around him." I explained. "But now that he knows exactly what he is dealing with, even walking on the streets will become a hindrance. He'll question what is sitting beside him on a local trail or taking a cab ride with him, or simply strolling down the streets. Everywhere he looks now, all he will see are creatures of the dark."
I looked into Ruksaar's eyes, and knew that she understood me. Understood the horrors that we had installed in the mind of a simple human being. This is one of the biggest reasons why shifters never choose humans as mates, because they are afraid of the consequences...and I should've been well aware of them too. But I had thrown caution to the wind and for the first time in my life, wanted to live a little...even though I knew I was cursed.
"Well, I guess you're right." Ruksaar sighed. "I still hoped for a better response though, but I'm sorry to say, your man turned out to be a chicken."
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I shook my head, turning away from her once again to admire the house. "What we did was for the greater good and leaving everyone behind was the best decision we ever made." I spoke out loud, more to myself than her. "But don't you think that what happened was a bit strange?" Ruksaar asked. "Why did the falcons attack us like that? What were they even trying to prove?"
"They weren't trying to prove anything, Ruksaar." I told her, tucking my hands inside my pockets. "They were trying to eliminate a threat that they believed was going to take over their lands. Falcons are scavengers, they usually avoid confrontation with larger predators."
"Well, it's clear that your Alpha blood has awakened and now, everyone is going to think of you as a threat no matter where we go." she sighed.
"I know."Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
I had known that the instant Kashmira and her son had wanted to take shelter under my care and expected me to provide for them. I could've done that...but she was an estranged Luna who had run away with the future heir of an Alpha, and I didn't want to get involved in that scenario.
"Is hiding in the mountains in seclusion the answer to our problem? Or are you simply running away from all your problems like a coward?"
I stayed quiet, choosing not to fall for her provocations. She was doing this on purpose, I knew that, and I also knew the reason behind it. Because just as I had Alpha blood running through my veins, Ruksaar was a capable Beta. And her affection for Kashmira and her son had been evident in the fact that she had constantly tried to defend them no matter what the cause.
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"You could have been an Alpha you know, a true warrior who lived up to her reputation but instead, you chose the coward's way out."
Ruksaar's provocation fell on deaf ears, and I think part of her already knew that. She wanted me to be an Alpha, to give shelter to those who had nowhere to go. But being an Alpha came with consequences and there was no place for a female Alpha in this world. I hoped that in the past century, Ruksaar would've learned her lesson, or at the very least, she would've tried to understand my side of the story. But as it seems, she never did.
"I have no intention of being an Alpha or forming a pack, Ruksaar." I finally told her, my voice firm. "But if you feel like I did injustice to Kashmira and her son, then you have every right to go back and care for them any way you want. I won't hold you back."
With that, I turned and walked away, silently announcing that this conversation was over.
When I didn't immediately hear Ruksaar's footsteps following me inside the house, doubt seeped into my mind, making me wonder if I had done the right thing or not. But I knew I didn't have a choice. She will come around, eventually. She always did.
This wasn't the first time that Ruksaar and I had gotten into an argument about this topic, and I knew that this certainly wouldn't be the last. However, Ruksaar and I were bound by an invisible string, sisters whose bond had been forged in fire in a desolate pack that no longer existed.
I headed back to my room, taking a seat on my bed, as yet another image popped into my mind...an image that I couldn't let go of.
Abhay's frightened face when I had turned to face him one last time after the massacre with the falcons. That image would now be forever imprinted in my mind.
How was he now? Had he gotten over that incident yet? Did he still have nightmares? There were so many questions plaguing my mind, but there were no answers. And probably never would be; because Ruksaar was right just this once.
I had chosen the cowards way out...because I had no idea how to face the man who was my mate, the one the Moon Goddess had specifically chosen for me.